Preparing Your Home for the Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

We’ll never know when the real Zombie Apocalypse comes, but when it does, it will spread fast! There won’t be any time to go to your local Walmart or Home Depot for supplies because those creatures of the dead will already be flooding the stores and eyeing you as you park your car in the lot. If you think you can simply walk through a crowd of zombies and search through the isles to buy anti-zombie supplies, think again.

As you should have taken note from the Walking Dead series, these bad boys—as dim and slow moving as they may seem—will latch on to you, and start gnawing into your flesh if you get too close! So, the answer is to prepare NOW, before any apparent outbreak of zombies so that you can effectively protect your home from an all out invasion. In addition to food, water, medical supplies and other obvious necessities, here are five must-have items to Zombie Apocalypse-proof your home:

A Surveillance System

You and your family will be staying busy in the house, preparing food and entertaining the children to keep their spirits up during this scary time of national emergency. TVs and radios will be filled with static and white noise. Phone lines will be disrupted. You will need a way to monitor what’s going on—at least on your street. This is why you will need a surveillance system to track zombies in front of your house. You’ll want to paint the camera enclosure the same color as your house to camouflage it. Zombies may seem stupid, but remember—they were once human like you, and any vivid memory they have of “life” may trigger realizations that could instigate an increase in their level of attentiveness. Be sure to have a family member watching the monitor from inside the house at all times. This way, if you need to make a run across the street for something, you’ll know when it’s safe to run!

Traffic Barriers

You wouldn’t have thought traffic barriers would be a necessity in a Zombie-Apocalypse, did you? After all, zombies aren’t necessarily attentive drivers. However, in a zombie takeover, you won’t be the only one trying to hide. Most likely, there will be other humans out there, driving around your neighborhood, and looking for shelter. Setting traffic barrier devices like retractable bollards in front of your home will send a message to drivers that someone’s home, and will hopefully keep them from crashing into your house while they erratically swerve around, looking for a place to hide from nasty zombies. In addition to keeping other humans away, traffic barriers will hopefully send the message to zombies that there’s no sign of life past the barriers.

Heavy Drapes

Heavy drapes are a primary must! When a neighborhood is infected, zombies will be stumbling through out the block to see if they can catch a glimpse of any live human activity. Even the smallest crack through your home’s exterior can potentially leak traces of human movement and/or light. Heavy drapes will cover these gaps and block this movement and light and keep zombies from noticing signs of life. You can buy drapes, sheeting and other materials at most hardware stores. There are also special online stores that carry industrial-sized drapes if you really need to shield your family from hundreds of zombie attackers.

Wooden Boards and Nails

Wooden boards and nails are your last resort of protection. However, this doesn’t make them any less important. If it does come to the point where zombies are banging on your boarded up door and trying to break into your house, you may need to find another escape route! The nailed-in boards will only buy you a small amount of time to look for other ways out of the house. If the worst case scenario happens and zombie intruders break through, reaching their pale white hands around broken glass and wood to tear down the door, here is what you need to do: quickly run to do the door and rip a piece of wood from the layer of boards. Be sure that the nails are still in tact on the board. Now, you have a “zombie whacking device” that was a door protector! Start whacking away at the zombies with brutal force, and pray that there aren’t hoards more lined up on the street, waiting to enter.

A Zombie Apocalypse is no laughing matter. You must be prepared far in advance for the invasion. Although one single zombie can’t do too much to hurt you on their own, a massive horde of them can easily hold you down and infect you. If you don’t want to become “zombified,” take the necessary steps and pick up the above items from your local electronics and hardware stores. If you come out alive, you owe me one!

Author: Andrew Ortiz Andy loves everything about Miami: The cars, the architecture, the ocean and the fashion. He has a degree in creative writing and contributes to several fashion blogs.

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